Vivien's Thoughts: 2014

Monday, December 22, 2014

Hey, human!

Every day about an hour before her dinner time

Ten More Habits of Successful Dogs

1. When your human goes to bed at night, join him in your bed next to his. This will comfort him. After he falls asleep, it's OK to go to another of your favorite spots to go to sleep.

2. Do not wake your human until his alarm goes off.

3. When your human asks you a question (for example, "Do you want to go for a car ride?"), tilt your head. He thinks this is very cute.

4. When you go for a car ride, always sit behind your human. That way he can see you in the driver-side rearview mirror when you stick your head out the window. He likes this very much.

5. Stay hydrated. Always drink water before and after walks and after meals.

6. Do not betray your human's trust by running off when you're off leash.

7. When your human goes into the kitchen close to your mealtime, position yourself within his sight and make your "I'm hungry" eyes. You might get fed sooner than normal.

8. An acceptable ratio of pulling to the side or ahead of your human when out walking is 10 times per mile. More than 10 and you can expect a scolding.

9. Whenever possible, position yourself so you can see when your human goes from one room to another and what he's up to.

10. Nap as often as possible. That way you'll always be more than ready for a walk or run.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Ten Habits of Successful Dogs

1. Always let your human win staring contests. He needs to believe that he's the alpha.

2. Always hydrate before and after walks. If possible, have a drink from a puddle while on a walk.

3. Supplement your diet. Whenever off leash, eat as much grass, bugs, etc., as you can find.

4. Fully enjoy mealtime. Linger over your food bowl after finishing your meal to continue to absorb the remaining aroma.

5. Get especially animated when your human says "walk," "car," or "ride." This will make him very happy.

6. Facilitate digestion by finding a conducive spot for this after mealtime. Bathing yourself in sunlight after breakfast and retiring to your bed after dinner are recommended.

7. Do not wake your human until his alarm clock goes off. Then it's OK to sidle up to his bed for affection.

8. Curl up in a ball as often as you can. This will greatly endear you to your human.

9. Never refuse your human's attempts to hug, kiss, pet, or photograph you. He needs to do this.

10. And last but not least, be kind to strangers, regardless of age, gender, or species.