Sunday, October 5, 2014

Ten Habits of Successful Dogs


1. Always let your human win staring contests. He needs to believe that he's the alpha.

2. Always hydrate before and after walks. If possible, have a drink from a puddle while on a walk.

3. Supplement your diet. Whenever off leash, eat as much grass, bugs, etc., as you can find.

4. Fully enjoy mealtime. Linger over your food bowl after finishing your meal to continue to absorb the remaining aroma.

5. Get especially animated when your human says "walk," "car," or "ride." This will make him very happy.

6. Facilitate digestion by finding a conducive spot for this after mealtime. Bathing yourself in sunlight after breakfast and retiring to your bed after dinner are recommended.

7. Do not wake your human until his alarm clock goes off. Then it's OK to sidle up to his bed for affection. 

8. Curl up in a ball as often as you can. This will greatly endear you to your human.

9. Never refuse your human's attempts to hug, kiss, pet, or photograph you. He needs to do this.

10. And last but not least, be kind to strangers, regardless of age, gender, or species.